Small Wings

small wings
big enough to carry my few ounces
that can still float off to dreams

little wings, feathers of sparrow's plight
capable but to their task only
with baggage downed, they soar

in my life

birds
flying underwater
fish in the air

me in my life

snails
out of shells
sluggish

me in my life

purified ocean water
salt in the tap
chrome crusted calcium

me in my life

a gravel road highway
going somewhere not very fast

me in my life

old wood
no longer spared by a roof
standing tall against the sun and rain
grayer every april

me in my my life

laughter of desperation
cutting but not mending
tension
heavy in light shoes

me in my life

dented glass jars
just fragments of what they meant to be
but sharp as ever

me in my life

an empty freeway
going north or south
cutting east and west into different lands

me and my life

toast at tub side
electrifying
in so many wrong ways

me in my life

friendly fire
I guess there is such a thing as friends too close
or one's competing selves

me in my life

all ears and eyes
mind worn flat

me in my life

stars in the ocean
cooling down
dead light still in transit
to the bottom of some end point
or my eyes

me in my life

birds surfacing
with their catch
another mouth fed
for how much longer

Modified

Six ears
for a buck

Looks like corn
smells like chicken
tastes like fish

zaps its own bugs

I'm unsure
if the rest of the meal
confused things

or maybe
they're just clear

like the juice
in the kernels should be
before serving

From a Distance

from a distance
diamonds
and shards of glass
sparkle
all the same

may you find
me
at the right
distance

may I strike you
as beautiful and not
abrasive

may your feet
be calloused enough
to walk on
or stand
all the same

and praise
for the sun
that puts the right light
on this all

sparkle

this
may we have

this
that those
at curb's length
can admire
no matter how much
or how little
they know

Something Here

I have
fallen

and I have
started free

with the whole world
ahead

and I have fallen
from the highest climbs

and the shortest stools

always
nearly unable to start over

so one
with what I have lost
I am

and I have stood
still as the wind
and life goes swift past

but today
I am not sure
what to do
or say

the rain
the leaves
the work

the preoccupation

should all be the
perfect fodder

but too many others
already fell this short

and became
life already lived

and I
I am
looking for help
not repetition

there
will be
something here
before I die

something
here
before I
die

something
here

and maybe
not much

I just hope
I leave a few pearls

in this rocky
and sandy
abrasion
that is
often the fill
of my days

Lost Coastlines

so many
smiles
and kisses

so many
stood here

or just out
where here
used to be

stood
here
and watched the sun
kiss good bye

while they
kissed
hello
and for always

their rocks
now
are at best
a beach below

indestructible

so many
find their final graves
but all
were once at love
and at odds with ever wanting to die

so many--
add all the days together
--have stood here

or well
a bit
further out

where I see the ice plant
and asphalt fall away
was a parking lot
a road
and a side walk

and many memories
once firm

even some houses
and all the life made whole within

so many
watching the sun fade away
and having a kiss

a kiss
that leads
to love
and family
and all sorts of years
intertwined

so many
smiles
stood just here
here

here
for their moment
in memory

kisses
shall they
live long
and sow love
from beach to cliff
to any heart
and all

chalk

you drew
a circle

I cut it open
with a slash
of a smile
and dashes for eyes and nose

the chalk
will fade
color to sun
and substance to rain

but for now
a small piece
of how we
want the world
stands out
on stone

unneeded

everything
unneeded

excitement
for the numb

sleep
for the restless insomniacs

work
for the tired and taxed

arousal
to unaided impotents

tears
for the swimmers

and dry eyes
for the starving of thirst

life
for the dead

a couch
for the living

the world
for all those without orbit

I give
everything

everything
unneeded

and
already
had

Everything

here dada
everything
I have
I give to you

and this

this chewed up
steak and vegetable mash
that I have been saving since dinner
but no longer want to finish

dada I give
to you
everything

and a reminder
that everything is
everything
and not a neat little present

Wires

There are wires
above
and wires below

and the spaces
untouched
are slowly being covered
by the waves
of the new
connection

I fear face
to face
but call this
new tool
connection

and community

but it only means
that I can reach out
and hide in the bedroom
at the same time

there are wires
above
and there are wires below
there are wires
throughout my brain
and still I can't get it right

there are signals in the air
but while they bring me new sites
I cannot see them

I am busy
but sitting

the typing
less work

the creativity so hard
to squeeze in between the lines
of standard fonts

all those years
of handwriting perfection
lost to memories

there are more wires to go
and more to avoid
while being productive
like never before

I would, but

I can't
I don't have any left
I would
but I can't
but if I still could
I would
yes I would
I can't
but I would
if I had any left

The Smile

the smile
was enough
for so long

when there wasn't a need
for dishes
or a dinner table

I am sorry
and grateful
for the complication
and for each long day
to pass slowly enough to hold a few moments

my original drink
excitement
now watered down with worry

work a majority
fun and greater interests
foot notes

little asides
keeping me alive

Trees

trees that know winter
have something
I don't

they work through
the heat and passion of seasons
humidity and sap sucking
bugs and situations

and when things calm

they can truly let it all go
and rest

I'll die

shower

a razor,
cream

mouthwash
and tooth paste

a good
clean made clean

just as well
hung
by my necklace

frills
and lace

be dammed

I'll die

for pleasure
and good breath

deep
breath

whole
breadth

not an endless
imagination

but a pause
built full
and packed
tight
of anticipation

plums
ready
and wet

but held high
while daring
their removal
from the branches
to be

to be
a worthy moment
of some memory

to be
to run
run down
and drip
all over
a good clean
exposed
and made
sticky

my body and hands
used
so well
used
to satisfy
my tongue

so well
used

to make

I use
to make

you
smile

miles
use

us
to get

from
there
to here

and
here
to there

I was done
for

better

or
worse

when I first
held you

in my
arms

done

from
here
to there

to
use

and
hold

to
have

and
be

love
I am

here
to again

make
you

make you
smile

make
us

a star
in
our
night

still
bright

12:29 a.m.

quite becomes loud
appliances humming
pumps or capacitors
seconds rocking the thin long hand, old clock

fans sucking heat off the new brains
making my things think

whatever they are
sounds
muffled by life
and day

now shout
across dusty floors
through walls
and shelves

sounds that hide by day from as little competition
as the sound of two breaths, sunlight, or the slightest thought
but that rattle inside you when you're the last standing.

24

24

my day
where are you

take away
8
10

sleep
work

or
the other way around

6

take away at least another
eat

5

keep clean

4

who knows

2

no wonder

0

strapped
for everything

undone
and otherwise

they come
and they walk away
all the same

I can't excavate
all thats left undone
let alone the done

antidotes

walking tall
until seconds draw long
between my next step
and the look down
I just took

down
down down
down I go

The ground--spared any rain for months--
has been piled on and on

my body and
my toes flirt
with who knows what of yesterday's discards

will the past between us
ever just fall away during some chance glance
some quiet or catastrophic moment

down
down down
down

Your sound says hello
come this way
but my eyes can't validate

years over tears
tearing me down
tearing me down

like an old pair of jeans
every day worn raged
I am more comfortable
my world and not dreams
against my skin

walking tall
years over tears
down
I go
piled on
by all my attempts at numbness
and antidotes

fix

I need a little fix

just a snack
a taste
of life
long
back down the road

a taste of what the salt was like
in the ocean before my mind
overran the beach and the beauty it never really had

a taste of what you were like
when we were new
and hope
was the true high

a taste
of what a drive
off into the night and towards the ocean
was like
when I had it only twice

a taste of that special
that gets so much more unattainable
as I become accomplished

as I round the edges off my happiness
the sharpness between boredom and exhilaration
is lost.

as my trees grow tall
the great space underneath is larger and brighter
but the full sun never shines down
never shines down

successfully balanced
I need a little fix
a little kick
a smack in the gut

a taste of the salt on my lips
a taste of you on my lips
a taste of that special
that special that is so hard to get
so harder now than before the
very first time

my shell so large
I have too many turns to take
when looking back for my core

too many turns
too many ways to get around the truth
to many ways
to be the representation of happiness
and not a whole lot more