I've already...

I've
already lived
half a life
twice as long
as anyone should.

I should finally,
if even on the eve
be ready to be me
and only me.

Twice the time of half the heart
fixes nothing
but desire and insecurity.

Still I only crawl
as now I am less me
and more the puzzle I fit into

The father, brother
lover, artist, mudslinger
plant freak, what ever

finally getting naked
shedding all the things
I would have been
I am left
with just what I am

If you can hold your core
your you
the expectations erode
and one in awhile you can stand up

Nature

Nature,
thousands of bugs,
dinner.

The patrons feasting on them
dinner themselves
in talons and sharper beaks.

Killing all around
yet all being just

and what it is.

Beyond or before all kinds of supposed tos.

Not all the sick and twisted reasons we do the same
or ignore the life of our own food.

Its there
that I start know
we are no longer nature now.

Finding the Land

What is gold
but a stupid metal
hid hard in the ground?

So what
that it is soft
and lends its shine
to rings of wed.

So what
of its generous smiles,

so many lived
in noting more but cans
and tents
to find it,

and still more
never did
in so much less.

So many pursuits of wealth
told so may years before the pursuer
even half way got done

So many
end so much the same.

Half done
but long lived thinking more would just come.

Alone,

but we, the true believers
do not let down.

We hope on
despite all the bad
repeat, repeat

repeat.

Chances true,
     chances false,
still at hand
same before as everyday.

And our best gets the best of us
and we see potential.

Potential never ending,
and more seldom arriving.