Remember

you rest
your head
on me

I sit
and hold you

and think
remember me
this way

please
remember me

always
this way

the one
who could save you

the one
who could hold you
and make almost any tears dry

the one with who you discovered wonders wide
in the world we created

the world I could never have had
without you
and these moments

and now as you grow
into your own ways

these moments where I make it into all you need me to be
grow more precious and scarce

tonight as my shoulder
once again becomes, at the moment you fade, soft as any pillow

I will miss this
I think
maybe the most of all

You're stuck

No
I'm still
I'm watching
I'm tuning
going in
holding strong

You're stuck

I'm ready to burn
in one big fire
but not
before my time

You're stuck

I'm still here
I'm happy
I'm proud
I usually fall asleep smiling

You're stuck

No
I'm biting off more
while still chewing down today
where else should I go
and leave half done

You're stuck

No
I know the anchors
that weigh more than I can out balance
and I grow elsewhere
and use them
for stability

You're stuck

No
I can withstand the wind
and the dark cover of clouds
with average intention
and calm hands

You're stuck

I'll return
in time
to all I ever was
all else
is alive and living its own life out

You're stuck

No, I'm still
ready to burn
ready to be dropped
in the bucket I match up with

You're stuck

No
I stay
it's nearly the same
and depends on who you are
and how close you grow

You're stuck

No
I live and wait to die
happy as I can
there are so many trying
to fly
we can't all take
to feather

you re stuck

no
we drop
lower
and I care
less
every evening

while I fall short of your expectations
I over achieve my goal of survival
that while simple for most has been a struggle for me
every day

you're stuck

only in talking
to you
in defending what needed nothing
until you called for it

you're stuck

only in you
in all you do and create
and only in
doing the right and full
thing
to live

you're stuck

only to be
to being true
to being

you're stuck

No

you're stuck

No

you're stuck

no
and you know it
how this
will play out

how it will win
live and die

you're stuck

yes

yes

only for so long
when the last
of youth
leaves my bones
and then
not stuck as much as
just settled

you're stuck

No
not yet
not today
and not tomorrow
come back
some other time
and let me build
from here
all that is
to me
you're here
but not on time
and not really watching what
we are
doing

now

welcome
or goodbye
take one

fog

no
no longer

I know
no longer

what we
stand for

confused
by goals

goals
that lack the vision
and purpose

purpose that
our obeying bones will follow
in the name of anything more

vision
that lasts
and stands
on its own thumbs

no
no longer

no longer
do the crumbs of glass
glisten
in the sunset

not through this fog
and salty sea wind
that overtake
this season

this wash
this bath
of slow down

of death

of clearing
the slate

yes i
live past the cycle
but something in what ages me
also kills me off one turn
at a time

until
I know

no longer

after awhile

I care

less
after awhile

I fall

harder
after awhile

but

I feel less
after awhile

I love

more and less
after awhile

I hope

more
after awhile

to dig

out of this
after awhile

I stand

a little less
after awhile

but hope

a little more
after awhile

and dream

more
after awhile

but sleep

too much
after awhile

to make up

for all the loss
after awhile

fogpuzzle: Grasp

fogpuzzle: Grasp

soon to be

the dawn

gray

summer
coast

cold

like fall

gray

with breaks
of afternoon
warmth

you say
we

don't know

you say
we substitute

and that that
lacks all your perks

and yes

that is the point

there are so few left
to feed your machine

to serve
for the reward
that has grown
thin

and with it
our ease to resist
thick

our ease
to drop down
the chains
and run free

those high
have so far to fall
especially as the herd
is culled

the dawn

is it?

or dusk

soon to be
for sure
and forever

broken
hoping to be
found

mended
hoping
to be hurt

hoping
to get
the attention
that it brings

hoping
I have something left
to give
when I am again
a lover

meaning it
being nothing else
bones free

bones free
of those things to do
that are never done

the freedom
that drives betrayal

and
the strongest loyalty
all
the same

broken
hoping

broken
hoping to be

broken
hoping to be
found

hoping
for sun

hoping to shine

in the mirror

and in your memory

hoping
I am to others
half
of what I want to be

hoping
I can be
and mean
so much

hoping
I have
built

rather
than taken

knowing
I have tried

and that this
like life

will end

never knowing

the whole truth

and
nothing
but.

I've Got This Space

I've got
this space
in my head

one
where
all my broken-ness
isn't bad
nor good

but just
a way to know me.

I've got
this space
all about me

where
I hide
and doubt my cover
and where I become
one of the drones

passing every
other by
without interruption.

But this space
should be
one
where
a smile ripples
face to face
like a wave from island
to island
and somewhere
land.

Not a space
where the needier
one is, the less
desirable
they are.

One where the smile
meets a mass
more than any sheer count
proclaims.

I've got
this regret
that I won't do my part.

That I'll be a stone
by the time
I am reached.

For now
I am going
to close my eyes
and dream
of that smile
that should only be.

wearing thin

The jeans are wearing
right off the legs
of this society

the shirt is thin
the back is getting burned
right through the threads that remain
as the sun climbs to its midday thrown

the feet are finding there place
now that the calluses are finally setting in

this is already the end
what follows is new
what follows may
         be
     or may kill
or may recreate

beautiful brown hair
gone gray
softness turned crisp

I hate the sun now
so dry this month
I know it just does its thing
and this is in me and the ground surrounding
but it is what I see and feel the strongest
so back I direct
what I have

there was suppose to be more

there was suppose
     to be more
done with less diversion
less done with pre
     occupation

this is no longer
     okay
this is no longer
     me

every day
takes away
     a bit too much life

this is no longer
     me
this is what is left

worn
     thin
         tough
             fat

this is mud
not water

and it flows
only one way

I'm going up

there was suppose
     to be more

this was all suppose to matter

the done
     worth doing
the done
     worth being
     proud of

this is no longer
     okay
         this is no longer

Out Live

When my life
can't out live its style

I should have
so much
more to show

when my deeds
sacrifice
my health.

I should have
so many
saved up feelings.

But no
my life
can not out live its style,

can't survive
the short sided
bliss.

in my hands

the world
in my hands

my daughter
half way through the year
to three

climbs up
into my lap

finds
in my two dirty hands
not the garden I've been digging
or the trees I have been keeping to a size
all my own

she takes the fingers
starts them in a conversation

then walks hers
through the valleys
and rivers
darkened with sediment
from my yard work

they are full
of roads leading places

of so much yet to be
is her moment

valleys, mountains, bumps and climbs

the world
in
my hands

in
my arms
for awhile
while she'll let me join in

this will never be

this will never be

just like the inappropriate
use of words of infinite natures
from the mounts of finite
and mortal beings

you say forever
but you know
you mean years
if that much at all

you say what we've done
is bigger than us
but once we're dust
they'll be at best a few foot notes

all these memories
all these desires
all these steps
the product of cells
already heading out the door

this is what drives us mad
this is what drives us religious
this is what drives us
to try
to believe
or create

or to mow over the world

hoping
to leave

leave a mark

a scar
big enough to be
forever

Standing

pushing a river
uphill

trying
all
reason

and failing

standing
tall
in an atmosphere
that smothers me
reduces me
to a
tiny spec

dust in the fabric

standing

trying
to
find

holding on
to my little place

hoping
to be

Grasp

memories
like
   craft glue

hold only
past
   so many tears

no resistance
   to the wet

as they peal off
back in the corners
   and all over

a new
dispassionate yet
irrational state
swells

colder
even here
   in June

skin coarser
and untouched

routine
unrelenting
and even less rewarding

go long enough
and everything will unravel
even my bones

my love
and the dust on my heart

memories
are just that
   a reminder

do you remember too?

are you just tired?

once powerful
now
   like I

everything one does
so many days now
just a drop in a great river
   that runs away

never adding up
to what I saw go in

memories
are just that
   a reminder

I want the rest
the love
the belonging
you

The earth
[that] I affect
in a grain at a time

but by exponential
reproduction
my kind
has the numbers
to turn molehills
into mountains

then fill them with goods
that 'll glow hair

and finish with a drink
from the water down stream

The earth
[that] I affect
in a ton at a time
a tooth
in the gears
one of many
and many

a cloud is forming
between me
and my sun

yet it won't even bring me rain
to wash in

At Winter's End

In the mud
I leave you

I hope
that you find your shell
a burden

at just
the right time

and that you
set out
to find
new roots

new meanings
new colors

new abundance

for now I leave
you

here
in the mud