antidotes

walking tall
until seconds draw long
between my next step
and the look down
I just took

down
down down
down I go

The ground--spared any rain for months--
has been piled on and on

my body and
my toes flirt
with who knows what of yesterday's discards

will the past between us
ever just fall away during some chance glance
some quiet or catastrophic moment

down
down down
down

Your sound says hello
come this way
but my eyes can't validate

years over tears
tearing me down
tearing me down

like an old pair of jeans
every day worn raged
I am more comfortable
my world and not dreams
against my skin

walking tall
years over tears
down
I go
piled on
by all my attempts at numbness
and antidotes

fix

I need a little fix

just a snack
a taste
of life
long
back down the road

a taste of what the salt was like
in the ocean before my mind
overran the beach and the beauty it never really had

a taste of what you were like
when we were new
and hope
was the true high

a taste
of what a drive
off into the night and towards the ocean
was like
when I had it only twice

a taste of that special
that gets so much more unattainable
as I become accomplished

as I round the edges off my happiness
the sharpness between boredom and exhilaration
is lost.

as my trees grow tall
the great space underneath is larger and brighter
but the full sun never shines down
never shines down

successfully balanced
I need a little fix
a little kick
a smack in the gut

a taste of the salt on my lips
a taste of you on my lips
a taste of that special
that special that is so hard to get
so harder now than before the
very first time

my shell so large
I have too many turns to take
when looking back for my core

too many turns
too many ways to get around the truth
to many ways
to be the representation of happiness
and not a whole lot more