I'll die

shower

a razor,
cream

mouthwash
and tooth paste

a good
clean made clean

just as well
hung
by my necklace

frills
and lace

be dammed

I'll die

for pleasure
and good breath

deep
breath

whole
breadth

not an endless
imagination

but a pause
built full
and packed
tight
of anticipation

plums
ready
and wet

but held high
while daring
their removal
from the branches
to be

to be
a worthy moment
of some memory

to be
to run
run down
and drip
all over
a good clean
exposed
and made
sticky

my body and hands
used
so well
used
to satisfy
my tongue

so well
used

to make

I use
to make

you
smile

miles
use

us
to get

from
there
to here

and
here
to there

I was done
for

better

or
worse

when I first
held you

in my
arms

done

from
here
to there

to
use

and
hold

to
have

and
be

love
I am

here
to again

make
you

make you
smile

make
us

a star
in
our
night

still
bright

12:29 a.m.

quite becomes loud
appliances humming
pumps or capacitors
seconds rocking the thin long hand, old clock

fans sucking heat off the new brains
making my things think

whatever they are
sounds
muffled by life
and day

now shout
across dusty floors
through walls
and shelves

sounds that hide by day from as little competition
as the sound of two breaths, sunlight, or the slightest thought
but that rattle inside you when you're the last standing.

24

24

my day
where are you

take away
8
10

sleep
work

or
the other way around

6

take away at least another
eat

5

keep clean

4

who knows

2

no wonder

0

strapped
for everything

undone
and otherwise

they come
and they walk away
all the same

I can't excavate
all thats left undone
let alone the done

antidotes

walking tall
until seconds draw long
between my next step
and the look down
I just took

down
down down
down I go

The ground--spared any rain for months--
has been piled on and on

my body and
my toes flirt
with who knows what of yesterday's discards

will the past between us
ever just fall away during some chance glance
some quiet or catastrophic moment

down
down down
down

Your sound says hello
come this way
but my eyes can't validate

years over tears
tearing me down
tearing me down

like an old pair of jeans
every day worn raged
I am more comfortable
my world and not dreams
against my skin

walking tall
years over tears
down
I go
piled on
by all my attempts at numbness
and antidotes

fix

I need a little fix

just a snack
a taste
of life
long
back down the road

a taste of what the salt was like
in the ocean before my mind
overran the beach and the beauty it never really had

a taste of what you were like
when we were new
and hope
was the true high

a taste
of what a drive
off into the night and towards the ocean
was like
when I had it only twice

a taste of that special
that gets so much more unattainable
as I become accomplished

as I round the edges off my happiness
the sharpness between boredom and exhilaration
is lost.

as my trees grow tall
the great space underneath is larger and brighter
but the full sun never shines down
never shines down

successfully balanced
I need a little fix
a little kick
a smack in the gut

a taste of the salt on my lips
a taste of you on my lips
a taste of that special
that special that is so hard to get
so harder now than before the
very first time

my shell so large
I have too many turns to take
when looking back for my core

too many turns
too many ways to get around the truth
to many ways
to be the representation of happiness
and not a whole lot more

Remember

you rest
your head
on me

I sit
and hold you

and think
remember me
this way

please
remember me

always
this way

the one
who could save you

the one
who could hold you
and make almost any tears dry

the one with who you discovered wonders wide
in the world we created

the world I could never have had
without you
and these moments

and now as you grow
into your own ways

these moments where I make it into all you need me to be
grow more precious and scarce

tonight as my shoulder
once again becomes, at the moment you fade, soft as any pillow

I will miss this
I think
maybe the most of all