Choking

choking on a dinner
a million would kill to have

what a waste
me and the bite

got bricks and
more to wall me in
and all the good I've ever stolen

so easy to stand tall
when you have no idea how short
from honest
and good you are

I stand very tall
but less than yesterday

maybe there is more
in the less I thought I'd have
if I did different

maybe
someday
we'll see
but today with uncertain emotions
I'm still choking on a dinner
so many could make use of

loving the cans and garbage disposals
that take all the guilt away
and leave me clean

what a wonderful priledge
to walk so well
and true
with eyes closed

what a wonderful
fully
fucked world
we walk along

Out here

Out here
in
    the dark and dangerous
       I find what I need
          to eat and thrive
              and not lie

    protected in walls
      I have a safety
         but it costs
 
Fences
     all the same

Less of the moments
     I know I will remember

        and more
             of the just how it should be

        well protected
               neglected if need be
 
Tragic times
    once done
          the more rewarding treasures

    scarcity does wonders for appreciation
        if you survive the in-betweens
 
Out here
     dangerous
         and
           all the makes
             of makes life
   
    pop
    burst
    and be
         all you really only were



 
 
       

Got It So Good

tears
   for what deserves none
     
           all the pain with no lube
 
  weight I don't deserve
           nor really have
               but something dark and thick is hanging all over me

got it so good
    and that never explains me and all I get wrong

All Eyes

I spend most days
walking

through the crowds
like a ghost

just kinda
being

barely
noticed

and when
I'm not
I feel
like all eyes
               are on me

why can't I
just go
down

down the walks
        and streets

with a small group
         of good friends

and not these
extremes

alone
and terrified I'm not

I Share

the happiness
comes
only flat

in a world of suppose'tas
sure my dreams ride their own rails

but I fear so
 the placement
   that I lie
     and set none
   
live in the making
  so better than the here and after
 
happiness
one thing

and yet
      many things
           to those with broad measures
         
Yet all
want to end
with good stories

and that
I
I share

Feathers over waves

setting flight
over land

only to find
soon later
on looking down
only water

all around
and forever deep

not sure how much air
there's left to hold wings

but seeing nowhere
that won't swallow me whole
upon resting

sometimes
I can go years

forgetting this
is all I am doing

sometimes
only days between tears
and wet sleeves

all the while
pushing feathers
over waves

Not Dreaming

give what
you have

and
no more

no hopes
uninsured

no plans
that are only
icing on air

I am less
about dreams now

and more
about
what we are

don't get me wrong
inspiration is one fine
drug

but I'm recovering
and want a bit more

a more
that can be held

a bit more
than can be thought of
as I wonder off to sleep

like that
that I
a couple decades ago
did far better
than I can now

all the things
so many
say

fly
so many minds
so high

great
for then
and there

yet so little left
when you can't go to bed
with a smile, a partner
and a soft pillow

here
and now

I'm ready
for what comes after
first smiles and the kisses more

ready
for this
we have
and that I smile
so much
prouder on

this
is all I need
this
15 years and more
of being
not dreaming