Then and now

We were sound
and asleep by the time
the curtain of night
raised and let the world open back up

while the sun was busy
and away
   giving us space
to be alone
  together in the dark
I smiled

Now I am tired and busy
and the sky is bright again
but I still smile

mind full
  of then and now
happy to have moments good enough
to pull me back into them

the mountains or anywhere bare

a long way
  from home

and closer still
  to something more

what is done
 to the eyes

for the first
  seeing home
    as something away

from the us
  we were
    from the mountains that eat us
      to the lakes that feed us
         and the skies that see it all

we dance, walk, and be

home
  is safe
    home is
      the same

day after day
  work after work
    just because that is
      the way

      show you do
      just what you should

up here
  it is more about
 this is
  just
   what you do
     
part of the land your foot strikes
  not the house your money can buy

a long way from home
  we all look
   each other in the eye
 just humans and earth
 
all we really are
  sans all the culture we place higher
   for so little reward and such great cost

need

when's the last time
you stayed
with something
you knew was all wrong
but filling a certain need

when's the last time
you lived that kind of lived

that kind of lived
that is a becoming
no matter the cost

safe enough
you know you'll live through
but be forever warped
yet well so

all the ready
to go crazy
so long as it takes you far

far from here
and all the little things you had

goodbye
and hello
all wrapped up
in a night and one good morning

I've not
in a long long time
but seen this other side

this other side
where the years add up
and really mean something
more

more than any
impulse could ever pluck from the ether
no matter how ethereal the lighting
might be

Choking

choking on a dinner
a million would kill to have

what a waste
me and the bite

got bricks and
more to wall me in
and all the good I've ever stolen

so easy to stand tall
when you have no idea how short
from honest
and good you are

I stand very tall
but less than yesterday

maybe there is more
in the less I thought I'd have
if I did different

maybe
someday
we'll see
but today with uncertain emotions
I'm still choking on a dinner
so many could make use of

loving the cans and garbage disposals
that take all the guilt away
and leave me clean

what a wonderful priledge
to walk so well
and true
with eyes closed

what a wonderful
fully
fucked world
we walk along

Out here

Out here
in
    the dark and dangerous
       I find what I need
          to eat and thrive
              and not lie

    protected in walls
      I have a safety
         but it costs
 
Fences
     all the same

Less of the moments
     I know I will remember

        and more
             of the just how it should be

        well protected
               neglected if need be
 
Tragic times
    once done
          the more rewarding treasures

    scarcity does wonders for appreciation
        if you survive the in-betweens
 
Out here
     dangerous
         and
           all the makes
             of makes life
   
    pop
    burst
    and be
         all you really only were



 
 
       

Got It So Good

tears
   for what deserves none
     
           all the pain with no lube
 
  weight I don't deserve
           nor really have
               but something dark and thick is hanging all over me

got it so good
    and that never explains me and all I get wrong

All Eyes

I spend most days
walking

through the crowds
like a ghost

just kinda
being

barely
noticed

and when
I'm not
I feel
like all eyes
               are on me

why can't I
just go
down

down the walks
        and streets

with a small group
         of good friends

and not these
extremes

alone
and terrified I'm not