Healing

skin heals
and so does
the heart

sometimes

but one tells
more truth about its progress

one stands right
in your stare
while the other talks

all sorts of softlys
or sharp-- go aways--
that may tell nothing
of what lays under

scars that show
tell time

scars that hide
live random lives
generally long
and full

bites
may be nothing more
than a blanket
on past hurts
holding warm
and protected
wounds
still sore
and cold

no look
can tell me
all of how well you are
nor you
all of me

Heart

the way
you can beat a heart
when I can hear nothing else

when all else matters
and all that I can find
is a thump
and then another
another

and on I go
eventually back awake
to it all
but never free

some great program
running in a flesh
that is free of the basics

like software
free from machine

yet still
there it is
at night again
all I hear
before the the darkness
and dreams
is a thump
and another
another

of me
but not my conscious doing

I can run
and it grows
but I order it not directly

oh the way
all of this
just goes

one foot
after
I know not what all

is miracle
alone
and so many
throw it all into the mundane
and search for meaning
in books thousands of years old
from men that meant less well

when we have this
and so much
more that I know not
all around us

this should be tended
so perfectly
before we go throwing faith
around to light up the outer shadows

Feathers Over Waves

setting flight
over land

only to find
soon later

on looking down
only water

all around
and forever deep

not sure how much air
there's left to hold wings

but seeing nowhere
that won't swallow me whole
upon resting

sometimes
I can go years

forgetting this
is all I am doing

sometimes
only days between tears
and wet sleeves

all the while
pushing feathers
over waves

What We Have

give what
you have

and
no more

no hopes
uninsured

no plans
that are only
icing on air

I am less
about dreams now

and more
about
what we are

don't get me wrong
inspiration is one fine
drug

but I'm recovering
and want a bit more
that can be held

a bit more
than can be just thought

a bit more
than dreamt
as I wonder off to sleep

that--
the all dreaming,
I did far better
a couple decades ago
than I can now

all the things
so many
say

as they are looking forward
to life
and its dawnings

those things
fly
so many minds
so high

but work better
on the young

leave little to me
if I can't go to bed
with a smile, my love
and a soft pillow

here
and now

I'm ready
for what comes after first smiles
and the kisses more

and here now
ready
for this
we have

and I smile
so much
prouder

if less often

this
is all I need

this
15 years and more
of being
not dreaming

Lights

there's lights as I look back and below
that I don't think I am going to get back to

in the middle of the hill
great accomplishment

valley below
forgot me

the mountain
and palace ahead
have never met me

and will see
an old and tired
traveler

not the me
that left
or that wanted to arrive
but just what was left

they wont even see
the beautiful view
I have in memory

The view I have
of the valley this night
lights guiding thousands home

they will see only me
not my thoughts incomplete

longing
to further

to a more whole

to lights
I will never reach
like water
in a desert
hoping to be an ocean

or sun on a horizon
heading on while leaving a show
from orange to pink
to distract the content

while all the while
we were the less than worthwhile

Sometimes
the really important things
are only what we make of them
and the company we believe in

and searching nothing
more than searching

home already had
yet forsaken

That

To live
with only
fear
to hold
me in
line

what life
is that survival

revival
survival

take this
back
to my
lonely bones

survival
not all
I was meant for

but at 37
still had it
at 43 still had it
at 8
had no idea

but always
this
at least

I think
better
of existence now
and how little
it can be